“Kau regas semua pucuk pengharapanku, kau patahkan, kau minta maaf? Zainuddin, tenggelamnya kapal van der wijk,
a quotation from very popular Indonesian literature, written by Buya Hamka. That sentence literally means “you cut all my wishes, you broke it and then you say sorry?. well, readers not only brain is complicated, but also human itself. we meet some one, falling love, make a relationship, and then broken vow, and then desperate. and then say that we will not marry anyone and then just 6 months after that, we meet a new one again, and do the same cycle. yea, some of us will have a happily ever after love story, but also many people failed in their relationship. But ever we think, why? I can not forget a sentence that DR. Pierce in perception drama, said in the end of his class :
How does love re-wire the brain? When we meet somebody new and exciting, they invade our synapses like a virus , triggering neurochemical that feed into attraction, arousal even OBSESSION. We get DISTRACTED, But we’re not just thinking about them. We’re building an internal model, a simulation to helps us predict what they’ll think or how they’ll feel. The trouble will be happened when the simulation meets the reality which begs the question.
“Do we ever fall in love with another person or just with our idea of who they are??“
yes, that’s quotation from neuropsychiatrist in drama..
still from this drama, the teaching assistant speech in front of student and said :
“Sometimes we know what we want to see and our neocortex turns that expectation, into a kind of virtual reality, which mean that some of the world we see is really just an illusion. It’s scary thought when you consider how vunurable that make us. So how do we uncover our blind spot? How do we fully see the truth that’s right in front of our eyes? A good place to start is simply open your mind. “
“the eyes sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend.” French philosoper ( Henri Bergson)
so that’s why, most of us, yap human life with full expectation to others. will be sad when the reality is not same like in dream. It brings me to a question that I asked to a strangers in 14 February “why in that ages, you still not get married?” he said ” I am not ready with a commitment” in that time, I just can not imagine, why people is afraid to get married. In that time I think all human supposed to be get married and happily ever after.
but by time, the more I stayed on this earth, the more time gave me an advice about life. The more I opened my mind. Trying to find the meaning of life and the more I realized we will be happy when we be our self and not thinking bout what people wanna say. Every people has their own opinion, has their perception, and has their own definition about what’s right and what’s wrong.
In lunch time, I ate in cafeteria with my friends. They said, their Japanese friends gave an important advice,, here it is :
Marry people who makes you wanna get married. not a people who wanna marry you.
That’s really nice sentence. Because this sentence came out from a woman who ever have a will to not get married. It’s wonderful tho, because too many people on this earth lying to their self, marrying someone that they never can love, and try to keep the marriage just because worrying with what people gonna say. well, dude now I understand, commitment is not as easy as we think. and even if we think it’s easy, love is also easy to change. Today we can say we really love A and cannot life without A but tomorrow we probably can say I really love B and cannot life without B.
so many stories that I’ve been seen in my life about how a teenagers or how a couple are in love. They share the nice word, trying to make a good impression. but when they broke up, they’re starting to hate, mocking and betraying each other,,,, or at least,,, will say the same nice word to new person and exciting. is that love? or again,, is that just our idea of who they are?? ya of course we need to upgrade ourself and become a better human, but for whom?? it supposed to be to your self!
my best friend asked me, why it seems you really wanna have a partner, have a boy friend.
and then I said, probably I need someone who caring me.
and my best friend said, sometimes I also wanna have a partner. but I realized, being a family is better than has one partner. we will be cared not only by one person but many people..
and I laughed, I said “in your age, you supposed to be not thinking about “temporary partner” but you supposed to be think about marriage,, you are old and getting older hahahaha”
and my friend said
why all human have to get married, if they can be happy without married?
my best friend said, holly shit about what people gonna say, I life for my own sake.
the other friends argue with the statements above.
saying we supposed to be get married because of religion. because it’s sunnah rasul.